The
Ultimate Guide
To Fighting and Winning
By Dr. Russ Horine, President, Fight-Fast Direct, Inc.
Part 6
Dear Friend:
It’s time to get into a very scary place –
inside your own mind.
Because that’s where the real fight takes place. It’s time to clear
away some of the cobwebs hanging around in your cranium
and take a fresh perspective.
Now I don’t want to get too technical, but
my research uncovered something extremely important
– a thing called “cognitive dissonance”. This is nothing
but a fancy way to say that a person’s actual beliefs
don’t match up with their actions.
This can cause extreme discomfort and indecision
– something you don’t want rattling around in your head
during a fight. To win, you must be clear-headed, know
exactly what to do, and then do it with decisive action.
You can’t afford to be “working things out” inside your
head while facing down an adversary.
Internal
Conflicts:
Let’s begin to change some beliefs that you
may be hanging onto – and may ultimately hurt you. Some
of these beliefs are nothing but simplistic myths instilled
in us as young boys – yet we still hang onto them as
grown men.
Here are four of the most common examples --
although I’m sure as you examine your beliefs, you’ll
come up with plenty more. I’m avoiding the sugar coating
here – and you should do the same with yourself. Because
hanging onto baggage and childish notions will result
in deadly hesitation in the heat of battle. Let’s take
a look:
1.
John Wayne Syndrome – a “real
man” never backs down.
Now, there are people who actually live
to fight. In my 18-years of research I’ve met plenty
of them – and I can positively say that spending any
kind of time with them means that they’ll be continually
looking to you for “back-up”. If you want to be friends
with this type of guy then you’d better be prepared
to take many trips to the hospital and jail. They will
break into their own version of “West Side Story” at
the slightest indication of insult or reproach. These
guys actually believe that a real man never backs down
-- and his actions match his belief. I may not happen
to agree with his notions, but the man acts on his beliefs.
There is NO internal conflict here.
On the other hand, if you’re not one of these “fight-at-the-drop-of-a-hat” guys, and yet you still believe that a “real man” never backs down – then you’ve got
a problem. You must try to match up your beliefs with
your actions.
That doesn’t mean I’m suggesting you start
fighting more. No. It means I’m suggesting that you
re-evaluate your beliefs.
Here’s
something that may help. Do mental exercises of
situations in which you would and would not fight. For
example, a freeway driver flips you the bird. Now, if
you subscribe to the John Wayne Syndrome, you’d pull
your car off of the road and fight – no matter if the
guy is twice your size and wearing a “Hell’s Angels”
jacket. You’re belief system demands that you duke it
out right there on the side of the freeway.
If this is what you’d really do, then fine,
your actions really do match your beliefs. Like I said,
no internal conflict here. But, if your actions would
be different, then you must be honest with yourself
up front – before that scene plays itself out – and
come to grips that maybe you really don’t
believe that a real man “never” backs down.
The key here is an honest mental evaluation
of the differences in your fantasies versus what you’d
really do down here on planet earth. It will save you
a lot of mental torture.
Here’s a real life example. I personally
received a call from one Fight-Fast customer who suffered
mental anguish because he backed down from a fight,
despite watching many self-defense Fight-Fast videos
and feeling that he was a well trained fighter.
Now, I personally believe he did the right
thing – and I told him that. Nobody went to jail, the
hospital, or the morgue. His opponent was a stranger
and there was almost certainly no chance he’d ever see
him again. The outcome of that confrontation turned
out better than he could expect.
But, because somewhere in the deep recesses
of his mind he hung onto this foolish notion that “real
men don’t back down” – this guy suffered a lot of grief
and sleepless nights. He simply never had done an honest
evaluation of his own personal beliefs.
Here’s
another way to think about this. Let’s say that
the President of the United
States – while whizzing
by in his motorcade -- is insulted and challenged by
an angry citizen. Should the president really get out
of his car and fight this guy? Should he feel ashamed
for not doing so? According to the John Wayne Syndrome
believer, the answer should be a resounding “yes”.
Now this example is obviously ridiculous
only to make a point. Sit down and come to grips with
your own beliefs beforehand – it’ll save you from making
a stupid decision or the agony of dealing with internal
conflict.
2.
Never Hit First – Another notion from
childhood – because what’s the first thing that your
dad or a teacher asked you after a fight? Wasn’t it
“who hit who first?”
Well research proves that hitting first means you’ve got a damn good chance to win
the fight. You’ve initiated surprise, dismay, got the
guy back on his heels, and have an excellent opportunity
to keep up the pressure until you can end the threat.
Everything you
want.
Oh… but wait… that’s right… you can’t hit first. Teacher said so.
It’s time to grow up and get away from
this kind of thinking – it’s just plain dangerous.
Let’s forget fist-fighting for a second
and think about it as a gun fight. Would you allow an
armed opponent the first shot? I sure hope not. Same
goes with hand-to-hand combat. Do NOT freely give away
your main advantage because of some misguided idea.
3.
Fair Fight – This is more common than
you’d imagine. Stuff like don’t
hit a guy with glasses… no hair pulling… no biting…
no eye gouging… and so on. If you actually believe
this, you need to add one more to the list… no fighting.
It’s like the British officers who were
so disgusted with the way “unchivalrous”
American colonials fought. Those savages actually “unfairly”
shot at them from behind trees and bushes. How
uncouth.
Let me be clear… in a fight you want an unfair advantage. You never want
to purposely give away anything
that may give your adversary the edge.
In one of the videotaped street fights
I researched, there was a young man who had his face
nearly bit off in a vicious attack. He kept screaming
out “no fair…
he’s biting… he’s biting…”
I still get shivers thinking about that
poor kid.
I only hope you will not be as naďve. You
must assume that your adversary will do anything
– and that he plays by NO rules. I know it’s an
ugly thought, but you must treat every fight like it’s
a life or death battle. The idea that you can somehow
remain a “gentleman” puts you in an extremely vulnerable
position.
4.
Fight Your Fear
– Fear is information; it’s not to be controlled or
eliminated and is certainly not
your enemy. Acting in spite of your fear is something called “courage”.
I’ve see too many “fight systems” that talk
about “getting rid of fear”. Wrong-o. Understand that fear itself is a healthy emotion that’s protecting you.
You’d probably agree that being fearful
of walking on the edge of a cliff is a fairly natural
emotion to have – especially knowing that the “Dr.
Horine Death Move” is out there. It’s simply your body’s
way of protecting you.
The idea that you need to get rid of it
is foolish, and will either result in “brain freeze”
or will simply put you in greater danger. The key is
to “listen” to fear rather than deny it or attempt to
suppress it.
Use fear as a way to trigger “external focus”
– the key to avoiding “brain freeze” or the deer in
headlights phenomena. You can’t afford to stand there
drooling while waiting to “snap out of it”. I’ve got
a whole section on this external focus technique in an upcoming
chapter. It’s one of the most powerful ways to taking
the fight to your adversary, and winning.
Okay… let’s conclude this “internal conflict”
stuff for now. Use what you’ve learned to do some serious
self-analyzing. Discover “gray areas” and where your
indecision lies. Because with just 3-8 seconds to win
a fight, indecision and hesitation can mean the difference
between prevailing (and walking away), or taking that
losers ride to the hospital… or worse… the morgue.
How’s that for positive ending?
There’s a lot more exciting material coming
your way, and it’ll start getting increasingly advanced
and specific. You’re experiencing a process
of becoming a respected and confident protector of yourself and your loved ones. That’s a
powerful transformation. And believe me…
there’s no need to shout it from a mountain top. Everyone
around you will begin to notice.
Til next time…
Regards,
Dr. Russ Horine
Fight-Fast, Inc.
“I thoroughly disapprove of duels. I consider them unwise and I know they
are dangerous. Also, sinful.
If a man should challenge me, I would take him kindly
and forgivingly by the hand and lead him to a quite
place -- and kill him.”
– Mark Twain
|
