The Ultimate Guide
To Fighting and Winning

By Dr. Russ Horine, President, Fight-Fast Direct, Inc.

Part 7 

“In war there is no substitute for victory.”
- General Douglas Macarthur

Dear Friend:

You’ve got the pleasure of getting “Part Three” of my Ultimate fight guide.

Things are starting to accelerate now – so don’t jump ahead of yourself. If you haven’t checked out “Part One” or “Part Two”, you’ll need to read both of them first – before you’ll get a full understanding of Part Three. You can get your hands on both Part I and Part II HERE.

Because I’m sure you’ve gotten away with things like (for example) putting together a kid’s bike without even glancing at the directions, (“oh, I see… that’s the back wheel”). But when it comes to protecting yourself and the lives of your loved ones, the stakes are simply too high. Do yourself a favor and read the directions… from the beginning.

Okay… moving on.

It’s time to take a look at types of “mental maps” that people use to handle a dangerous confrontation.

Handling Danger: Four “Mental-Maps”.

Now, I don’t want to oversimplify human species (“you see kids, the food goes in this end and then it later comes out on that end”), but let’s have a little fun and break people down into four basic groups – because the reality is that people handle danger in roughly four different ways.

 These four groups are at the extremes in styles -- and the average person is rarely at one extreme or the other and will sometimes even switch maps, depending on their state of mind at the time. But in general this will help you recognize how your personality leans and your own specific strengths and weaknesses.

Because one of the biggest secrets to winning a dangerous confrontation is to simply learn how to overcome indecision and unreasonable hesitation. The Predator, the Bully, and the Emotionally Hijacked all depend on stunned victims willing to stand by helplessly -- like confused spring lambs on their way to slaughter.

So let’s cover four extremes on how people deal with confrontation so you can begin an honest evaluation of yourself. They are: 1) the Reasoner… 2) the Survivor… 3) the Dominator and…  4) the Virtuous Protector.

Let’s take a look at each one.

1.)    The Reasoner: A person using the “Reasoner Mental-Map” tries to negotiate his way out of trouble.  His motto is “can’t we all just get along?”, (I think this is the new motto of the U.N. Security Council ).

So, let’s dig a little deeper into this particular mental map.

The Reasoner believes that all people are essentially good and rational -- meaning that they think it’s possible to resolve any conflict by simply tapping into their opponent’s “better angels”. He believes that if he’s simply nice to other people, they will be nice to him – because (he believes) nobody really wants conflict. Yes indeed, he’s a “reasonable” person living in a world of “reasonable” people.

This is the most dangerous of mental maps.

Why? Because the outlook truly does not reflect reality. Everyone is NOT your friend. The world really CAN be a dangerous place with people who will rob, rape, and kill you for little or no reason, then sit down to a hot meal without thinking twice about you.

Yes, the world is indeed filled with bad and dangerously irrational people.

Think about it this way – just how far would this Reasoner mindset work in, say… prison. You guessed it – this nice reasonable person will quickly have his Jello stolen and soon afterward become the jailhouse “bitch”.

Or, let’s say, the Reasoner was hauled in front of the likes of an Uday Hussein for some infraction of his rules. (“I swear I didn’t know she was one of your girlfriends”). Be as reasonable as you want – but I’m pretty sure you’re in for a very special ending.

Now, these illustrations may seem ridiculous, but I’m making a point. Being the Reasoner can be a good way to avoid trouble against equally reasonable folks -- but will NOT work against the tens of thousands of dangerous psychopaths walking today’s streets.

The Reasoner is the most vulnerable of all the mental maps because, when confronted by true evil, he tends to crumble into dismay and panic – unable to reconcile his naïve “nice guy” beliefs with the reality that someone really wants to hurt or kill him.

2.)    The Survivor: This mental map is a total commitment toward “self preservation”. The motto is “don’t tread on me – but go ahead and tread on him”.

A person running on this particular mental-map software has a more realistic version of the world and understands that everyone is not his friend… that some people may just hurt him for the “thrill” of it.

Okay… this has advantages because at least the Survivor will do whatever it takes to survive – as an individual he’s willing to lie, cheat, and if necessary, fight his way out of confrontation. So, yes… he’s better equipped to realistically deal with confrontation than the Reasoner.

But he’s a lone wolf.

He believes he’s responsible for just one person – himself -- which means you should forget about depending on him for back-up (“hey... where’d he go?”). You’ll be “thrown to the wolves” as fast as he can run for cover.

Unfortunately, our modern media and even law enforcement has reinforced this Survivor “stay out of it” mindset.

We’ve all heard it… “don’t get involved”… “call the police”… or “just bend over and let him do whatever he wants”.

I once had a CPR class where the instructor was actively encouraging students “not to get involved” in helping strangers in need as it may result in a law suit (most states have since passed certain “Good Samaritan” laws to protect good citizens trying to help others).

That instructor was certainly a Survivor alright. Imagine depending on him to save your life!

It’s an attitude that has permeated our culture – and has resulted in able bodied men standing by and watching while innocent people are attacked.

Today’s “metro-man” can’t be bothered -- he adjusts his beret and moves on.

Now don’t get me wrong. I understand that there’s always another ridiculous side to this. Like the swimmer who was hauled from the water by Good Samaritans who then proceeded to pound on his chest for ten minutes trying to “help him breath”. Turned out the swimmer was fine – except for the broken sternum and cracked ribs that resulted from the beating.

In the same vein… I’m not encouraging you to jump in on bickering couples. No. That can be a BIG mistake. But I want you think about this: What if your mother, daughter, or sister was attacked and you later discovered that some “Survivor” guy stood by and did nothing? I don’t know about you, but I’d be tempted to do more than steal his Jello.

3.)    The Dominator: This guy looks upon himself as the “universal police”. His motto is “don’t disrespect me or my friends”. He is often a self-absorbed person who is very sensitive to disrespect and will act on any slight -- real or imagined.

People fear him for the simple reason that he’ll fight at the drop of a hat.

The Dominator is not necessarily a bully or a disruptive rowdy (although he can be) -- he does understand right from wrong -- but he’s ego-driven and will definitely “back up” his friends, rarely allowing thugs and bullies to take advantage of him or loved ones.

On the other hand, the Dominator is somehow always in continual conflict with others – often far too involved in other people’s business -- which puts him in a position to be imprisoned, permanently injured, or killed.

For example – and this is a true story – I had a friend who perfectly matched this Dominator description. “Big Joe” truly believed he was the “big brother” of all his friends, relatives, even casual acquaintances. As a result he was continually in the middle of conflict. One evening at a restaurant in Memphis, Joe “broke up” an argument between two guys and even rousted one of the fighters out of the restaurant.

That guy promptly went to his car, got a knife -- and stabbed Joe to death.

Now, Joe was a friend of mine, so it’s tough for me to be objective about this, but I must – so let’s take a look.

First, Big Joe’s fighting strategy was poor because he broke the cardinal rule of “not sticking around” after a fight. But, secondly, his Dominator mindset put him in a position of danger. A couple strangers arguing at a restaurant was not something he should have gotten involved in. It really was none of his business.

Dominators who do not change their ways rarely make it to old age.

4.)    The Virtuous Protector: Okay… this may sound a bit “corny” -- like a knight in shining armor is about to ride up on a white stallion -- but stay with me here. This is (in my humble opinion) the highest form of mental maps. His motto is “speak softly and carry a big stick”.

Many experienced streetfighters (who survive) eventually advance from a bully to some form of a Virtuous Protector. The “school of hard knocks” has taught the Virtuous Protector the real dangers of fighting, so he deeply understands what’s important to fight for -- and especially what’s not. He’s not overly concerned about slights or insults and is much more rational in dealing with confrontation.

He knows from experience that any fight can end in jail, serious injury or death, but, on the other hand he doesn’t hesitate when a situation requires action. In old school terms he may be described as a “stand up guy” or a “code of the west guy”.

He WILL help others when he’s truly needed.

The Virtuous Protector has a strong sense of right and wrong and will not brag about his fighting abilities or push people around. Like a bag of tea (as the old saying goes) he doesn’t “show his strength until he’s in hot water”.

To become a Virtuous Protector you do not need to be a recovering bully… a streetfighter covered in scars… or even a guy who owns a white horse.

On the contrary, a virtuous protector is driven by deeply entrenched values, not fleeting emotions or feelings. He is crystal clear on what’s worth fighting for and insults or slights do not provoke him unless it’s strategically critical to do so. He has no problem avoiding (even running from) a confrontation that’s not in his best interest.

This person is acutely aware of the consequences of personal combat and doesn’t allow critical decisions to be dictated by feelings of fear, anger, or shame.

As humans, it’s in our nature to be emotional and -- unless you’re an android – your emotions are NOT directly under your control.

But, your actions are.

The virtuous protector focuses on managing his behavior – not managing his emotions.

In conclusion, these four groups are “artificial constructs”, meant to help guide you in your own self discovery process. These are NOT psychological profiles meant to define a personality because, like I said, one man may use all four of these mental maps at different times. So clearly the mental map is more useful as a general “gauge” of future behavior. As you progress in your fighting abilities, you’ll hopefully also progress toward a more virtuous person who uses his skills wisely and justly.

The next stage deals with something that scares the crap outta most rookies – FEAR.

                        Regards,

Dr. Russ Horine
Fight-Fast, Inc.

“There are no extraordinary men,
just extraordinary circumstances that ordinary men are forced to deal with.”
– Admiral William “Bull” Halsey.